The Struggle For Hope


What is hope? A feeling of positivity, freedom and happiness?

Is it an unachievable goal?

In the beginning, immaturity clouds our judgement, our ambitions are often unrealistic and extremely naive. We all want fame and fortune yet ignore the pitfalls that accompany the dream. We all believe we are good inside yet our actions are usually selfish. 

By early adulthood, a glimpse of reality creeps in, our ambitions remain but doubt has arrived. Negativity has shown itself and is forced upon you by others, others who are also strugglnig to accept their realities. 

You make a plan, your core beliefs are cemented, your vision of the world is clear.

Before you realise it, the world has interrupted. 

You can't do that, you can't go there, you can't say that, you cannot afford to, but they can.

You persevere, setting that alarm clock each night for the early start. The rush hour commute.

You worship the Coffee that holds your hand tightly as you enter round one of the day. 

Rain, wind, delays, cancellations. Face to face with a million others struggling to reach round two. what is round two you say? That is arriving at the job you said you would never have. 

The job that didn't bring you fame or fortune. In fact you are only famous for you tardiness and windswept hair. 

Your biggest fan is the boss you never dreamt of having, you never seem to please him. See you have no fans. 

The bank account serves only as a middle man, passing payments in and then straight out. Little remains for your efforts. 

You try to fight for the dream, using what you have to build a life. Remember you're a good person so you do what is expected. Buy the House you can barely afford to furnish and why did you buy that sports car? 

You pay your way whilst witnessing resources being abused by the lazy and undeserving. 

News reports constantly reminding you of the evil in the world. Where are the nice stories?

It's time to go to the next step of expectation, settling down. 

Over exagerated bio, you self pimp leaving out all of your annoying flaws and bad habits. 

Over and over again you parade who you are, or who you want to be seen as, until you finally find the one. 

The one is just like you, the same doubts, worries and disappointments in life but who shares your now realistic goals. 

Life kicks back, constantly reminding you that it is not easy. You will not achieve those goals together if the world has its say. You have no choice but to fight, holding on to the glimmer that all will improve and you will become the person you wish to be. 

Dispite everything, every attempt and every intention, you crave assistance, alcohol and for some, drugs, push you along and keep you in the game of life.

You try and you try, knock backs and let downs. Nothing you do seems good enough, whilst everyone else appears to have it all. They have all the luck.

Resentment and jealousy cloud your judgement of life, bitterness and age become allies.

Just as you think life cannot throw anything tougher at you, the news arrives....

You are going to be a parent. 

Forget all your dreams its over, you missed your chances. 

Before you know it, the time has come. 

Fear, doubt, and well, more fear, drips from your forehead as you hear the words “One more push”....

Momentary silence, time freezes, it has all led to this, what are you going to do!?

Suddenly a miracle occurs before your eyes, you witness Life itself. 

Where there once was nothing, the space is now filled in the blink of an eye. 

Fear has turned into Love, you have no doubt about it, your life has just begun.

Fame and fortune is poor in comparison to life. Everything you ever believed has flipped on its head. Everything is clear.

All your experiences, good and bad were all for a reason. You now have wisdom. 

Wisdom will help achieve your dreams, you are nobodies fool. 

You know life is hard and evil lurks at every corner. You are no longer selfish.

You are now a permanent and satisfying second place. 

You know who you are and who you want to be. 

You know its not going to be easy, you know that whenever life gets you down to rock bottom, you will always find Hope in the eyes of your child. 

Hope is freedom, Hope is Happiness and Hope is Love. It is not unrealistic to find Hope. 

No matter what life throws at me, I know my children will always inspire Hope, pushing me towards achieving my goals, not only for me but for them too.

Have you found your hope? 


Billy Rowlands 

Jena ButlerComment